Holy Ambiguity

As we move through Holy Week, remembering the last week of Jesus' life in Jerusalem, I am struck by the barrage of messages, interpretations, and feelings. There are powerful symbols and experiences this week - and I wade through them in a stream of ambiguity. What does it all mean? Did Jesus have to die? Or was that just what happened? Did God need that - or did human beings need it? Is it really about love? Because if it is about love, why does it seem so cruel and senseless? My daughter hated this week when she was younger because it seemed so mean.

One of my favorite seminary professors, Paul Sponheim, said, "Ambiguity is the epistemological correlative to the ontological reality of freedom." What it means is that if there is freedom, then the meaning of it is not clearly evident. There is ambiguity, and we get to work within that and seek meaning. Entering the ambiguity is our task.

So during this Holy Week, I am open to the practice of Holy Ambiguity. I am learning to allow the symbols to mean one thing today, and tomorrow another. I am learning not to superglue a defined interpretation once-and-for-all to each event of Jesus' last days. I am learning to see the cross in one perspective, and then another, and discover new facets of this week for new chapters of life.

The biggest thing for me is that Jesus entered into the Holy Ambiguity of our life. Jesus did not always know how it would turn out - that's why we hear Jesus praying for God to take the cup of suffering away. Jesus entered into the Holy Ambiguity and went through the aloneness, uncertainty, and difficulty that we face. And somehow, someway, somewhen, that is crucial. As each year passes, I seek to discern what it says to us now.

During this Holy Week, I enter the Holy Ambiguity and listen. What do you hear?